i'm so bored with the usa

tomorrow we're off to Argentina for about ten days. We arrive in Buenos Aires where I plan on eating a lot of carne and drinking a lot of vino tinto. After a side trip to Uruguay we'll face some 20 degree (Fahrenheit) weather in Patagonia where we plan on seeing real glaciers before they disappear entirely from the face of this planet.

I hope the geniuses working for the TSA don't allow any motherfucking liquids on my motherfucking plane. The crafty folks at McSweeney's have already addressed the situation by saying yeah, air travel does seem a little weird right now. will they force passengers to empty their bladders before boarding?

ok, do your exercises and try to keep the place clean while I'm gone.