better find another way to "reclaim your manhood"...

nothing says "America, fuck yeah!" like a Hummer.

GM's monstrous suburban attack vehicle symbolizes American might, arrogance and stupidity. So, it is fitting that these beats, like our global empire, are literally falling apart:

Iris Ziroli's new beast seemed invincible: It could haul a trailer with 6,700 pounds of cargo, climb slopes at a 60-degree angle and zoom through water 20 inches deep without flinching. Or at least, that's what the pamphlets from her Southern California Hummer dealer promised. That's why the Murrieta real estate agent was so bewildered when the front end of her pewter-colored Hummer H2 sport-utility vehicle collapsed in February 2004, not during a wild off-road trek, but after she bumped a post in a Carl's Jr. drive-through.

hmm, why do so many real estate agents drive Hummers? Is it because they are self-obsessed primadonnas who are desperate to get attention? or, do they just like to live (and drive) large?

When it hit the ground, the undercarriage of her vehicle screeched almost as loudly as her 6-month-old daughter riding in a car seat.

"I thought I was so safe because the H2 is so huge and strong," Ziroli said. "The way that Hummer fell apart in that drive-through was uncalled for."

Ziroli learned an important lesson. Safety is not certain in this uncertain world. Sometimes it only takes a small bump in the road to defeat Goliath.