- Mel Gibson - attended rehab after a drunken anti-Semitic and misogynistic outburst toward Malibu police in an attempt to salvage his image prior to the release of Apocalypto. Apparently, it worked.
- Ted Haggard - received spiritual restoration to "cure" his meth addiction and homosexuality. Praise Jebus, teh gay be gone!
- Michael Richards - began psychiatric counseling to manage anger and try to understand why he hates African Americans.
- Isaiah Washington - attended psychological counseling to try to understand why he hates homosexuals.
- Lindsay Lohan - attending rehab for alcohol, drugs and bulimia while indulging in alcohol, drugs and stomach purging on the weekends.
- Gavin Newsom - will attend alcohol counseling after admitting to banging his campaign adviser's wife. What an idiot - as if there aren't enough hot, young single women in SF for him to chase.
- Paris Hilton - will probably attend rehab to understand why she hates African Americans and homosexuals. One can only hope she experiences some swift aversion therapy. Hell, it worked for Alex de Large.
So, whether you suffer from homophobia, racism or adultery, just blame it on alcohol and admit that rehab is the solution for you! Unfortunately, one has yet to develop a rehab center for war-addicted neocons...