this blog will self-destruct in five seconds: fatherland security

Showing posts with label fatherland security. Show all posts

03 March 2008

this aggression will not stand, man.

The Venezuelan Foreign Ministry, in ordering the expulsion of diplomatic personnel of the Colombian Embassy, said it was acting “in defense of the sovereignty of the fatherland and the dignity of the Venezuelan people.”

President Rafael Correa of Ecuador, who had expelled Colombia’s ambassador over the weekend, went a step further on Monday, breaking off diplomatic relations. The move was not unexpected after his claim that President Álvaro Uribe of Colombia was lying about the nature of the raid.

What perfect timing - Hugo Chávez is planning to exhume Simón Bolívar. Maybe the zombie liberator will be able to settle this mess in Gran Colombia.

12 February 2008

one more time (for the democratic party hacks)

I know you're pissed. But I'm sure it hasn't shaken your faith in the party.

23 January 2008

what then, you ask, is the system?

Here is the solution.

Thanks to Lauren for the image.

17 October 2007

happy anniversary

Habeas Corpus has been dead for a full year now.

04 September 2007

22 August 2007

presidential rally monkeys

Of course they have a manual for how to deal with undesirables:

To counter any demonstrators who do get in, advance teams are told to create "rally squads" of volunteers with large hand-held signs, placards or banners with "favorable messages." Squads should be placed in strategic locations and "at least one squad should be 'roaming' throughout the perimeter of the event to look for potential problems," the manual says.

"These squads should be instructed always to look for demonstrators," it says. "The rally squad's task is to use their signs and banners as shields between the demonstrators and the main press platform. If the demonstrators are yelling, rally squads can begin and lead supportive chants to drown out the protestors (USA!, USA!, USA!). As a last resort, security should remove the demonstrators from the event site."

Come on, how lame is it to bark "USA! USA!" at a few brave protesters. You'd think these Bushfolks could be a tad more creative with their chants.

Actually, the GOP rally squad should try this motivating tactic for the Commander Guy's next public appearance:

31 July 2007

ex-lax presidency

Tired of being a lame duck? Well, Ex-Lax will reinvigorate your passions for terrist-huntin, constitution-shreddin and pig-eatin within minutes!

11 July 2007

chertoff's got a feeling

A feeling deep inside, oh no...

25 June 2007

i must have slept through civics class

'cos I was unaware that the Vice President constitutes the fourth branch of government.

30 May 2007

quick, cover your heart!

"Kalimar, Kalimar, KALIMAR!!!"

03 May 2007

way scarier than the decider

"I’m the commander guy" - President Bush, May 2, 2007

see also: "the decider" strikes again!

28 March 2007

that's a spicy meatball

Congress should stop making "political statements''

...that naive little brat thinks he can tell his Daddy what to do!

22 March 2007

unitary executive

For the Son of man shall come in the glory of his Father with his angels; and then he shall reward every man according to his works. Verily I say unto you, There be some standing here, which shall not taste of death, till they see the Son of man coming in his kingdom. -- Matthew 16:27-28

20 January 2007

good old days

...back when propaganda was honest about being propaganda

Today, the opinion-making machine has infiltrated its tentacles throughout every aspect of society. We can't tell the difference between fact, lies, truth or propaganda. Kinda makes you nostalgic for the past.

18 January 2007

so much for that "vital tool" in the war on terror

Yesterday, Senator Russ Feingold released the following statement:

“For more than five years, the President has conducted an illegal program, including more than a year during which he publicly asserted that this violation of the law was absolutely essential to protecting the public from terrorists. I am pleased that the President has been forced to return to the law and that this program has been terminated. I continue to have many questions about what the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court has decided and intend to scrutinize carefully how the Court has interpreted the FISA statute. In addition, while I welcome the decision to stop conducting surveillance without judicial approval, the President now needs to respond fully to legitimate congressional questions about the complete history of this now-terminated illegal program.”

And don't give me that crap about giving aid and comfort to the enemy. The warrantless eavesdropping program, which the president defended so vociferously a year ago, has now been terminated. There is no harm whatsoever in releasing the details of a defunct program (except for the stomach cramps Bush & Cheney will experience when the full extent of their illegal, unconstitutional activities are brought to light). Censure is only the beginning...

11 January 2007

burden of empire

Anti-Flag : Death of a Nation

09 January 2007

for spocko

Disneyland Memorial Orgy, Wally Wood, 1967

Small time blogger Spocko decided to do something about the eliminationist right-wing hate speech spewed daily on San Francisco's KSFO radio. He wrote to the station's advertisers asking if they wanted their products and services associated with radio hosts who openly promote cutting off the penises of enemy combatants and fantasize about the electric chair death of New York Times editor Bill Kristol. The sponsors began to pull their ads.

Unfortunately for Spocko, KSFO is a small part of Walt Disney's evil empire. Spocko received a cease and desist letter from ABC/Disney lawyers. Continue reading Spocko's ordeal here.

Perhaps we can foment widespread revolt among all costumed employees in the Disney empire. Just imagine an army of slapping Tiggers chasing the Disney board members around their plush corporate suites.

In the words of the great George Carlin: "Fuck Mickey Mouse! Fuck him in the ass with a big rubber dick!"

04 January 2007

the ace of spades in the bush house of cards

What can we expect from this year's ~~surge~~ bump in U.S. troop levels?

More death squads! Because John Negroponte is leaving his DNI post to join Condi Rice as Deputy Secretary of State. Negroponte is expected to play a "major role" in implementing the President's lack-of-plan in Iraq. And you thought the war was almost over - hell, it's just getting started!

10 December 2006

another brick in the wall

In their December 18 issue the editors of TIME are refreshingly honest about the American education system. Students are not unique individuals with hopes, dreams and desires. They are cattle who must be constructed into productive members of society.

A bi-partisan education reform panel has recommended ways to adapt our indoctrination system to the changing needs of the 21st century. Their recommendations make for nice slogans like "thinking outside the box" and "developing good people skills". But these are purely superficial changes, not structural ones. As to how to solve the problem of rage, we'll never know...

[hat tip: a shiz]

01 December 2006

freedom: still on the march

Iraq ministry forms unit to monitor news:

BAGHDAD, Iraq - Iraq's Interior Ministry said Thursday it had formed a special unit to monitor news coverage and vowed to take legal action against journalists who failed to correct stories the ministry deemed to be incorrect.

Brig. Gen. Abdul-Karim Khalaf, spokesman for the ministry, said the purpose of the special monitoring unit was to find "fabricated and false news that hurts and gives the Iraqis a wrong picture that the security situation is very bad, when the facts are totally different."

Looks like our little guinea pigs have learned something only the master could have taught:

The US defence department has set up a new unit to better promote its message across 24-hour rolling news outlets, and particularly on the internet. The Pentagon said the move would boost its ability to counter "inaccurate" news stories and exploit new media. Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said earlier this year the US was losing the propaganda war to its enemies.

I recommend Baghdad Bob for the job. His schedule must be wide open these days. He has the experience--and he is a Shia Muslim--so he'll fit snugly into Maliki's government.

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03 March 2008

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