war on christmas update

This afternoon I conducted a brief reconnaissance mission for the Anti-Christmas Militia of Orange County (ACMOC) at Fashion Island in Newport Beach, CA.

I entered the capital of the artificial--the belly of the beast of consumerism if you will--to determine the strength of the Christmas enemy and help plan for our attack on December 24. The ACMOC believes in a pre-emptive strategy which is why we will strike on Christmas Eve, one day prior to the actual Christmas Day.

I parked my car next to SUV's with "W" and "Pray for America" stickers. I was getting nervous being surrounded by all the "No Spin" rich people and their foo-foo dogs dressed in Christmas outfits. Luckily I discovered a hopeful sign--Federated Department Stores has sided with the ACMOC in the War on Christmas. They are clearly celebrating the "holiday" and not Jesusmas per their window display below.



Feeling a bit encouraged, I headed to the center of the outdoor shopping mall at which stood a giant Ex-mas tree. Carolers sung in front of this tree while little unruly children climbed on the fake presents surrounding the tree.



The enemy are not dressed properly which will benefit us greatly. It's 62 degrees in Newport Beach with a cool breeze yet girls wear short skirts with furry snow boots.



There is one problem. The pro-Christmas forces monitor the ground from helicopters. This will make it particularly difficult to plan a sleath attack on the Christmas enemy. The following helicopter was circling the plaza where the tree stands.



All in all, I think the ACMOC will be victorious. A sustained pre-emptive attack on the Irvine Company's garrisons will prove successful.

Happy War on Christmas!