happy new year
Here's to defying the logic of all laws everywhere...
Here's to defying the logic of all laws everywhere...
As you've probably noticed I don't write about politics as much as I once did. Frankly, Operation Enduring Hegemony and Clusterfuck 2008 have bored me as of late. What little political commentary I am still able to churn out now gets featured at the Guys from Area 51. Plus, I've enjoyed taking the Pime in a more personal direction this year. That said, I can't completely eliminate the skullfuckers from this blog, so here's some politics for ya...
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Team | P | W | D | L | F | A | W | D | L | F | A | GD | PTS | |
1 | Arsenal | 20 | 9 | 1 | 0 | 23 | 7 | 5 | 4 | 1 | 17 | 9 | 24 | 47 |
2 | Man Utd | 20 | 9 | 1 | 0 | 22 | 3 | 5 | 2 | 3 | 15 | 8 | 26 | 45 |
3 | Chelsea | 20 | 6 | 4 | 0 | 20 | 8 | 6 | 1 | 3 | 11 | 7 | 16 | 41 |
4 | Liverpool | 18 | 4 | 4 | 1 | 20 | 6 | 6 | 2 | 1 | 13 | 6 | 21 | 36 |
5 | Man City | 19 | 9 | 1 | 0 | 19 | 7 | 1 | 4 | 4 | 8 | 15 | 5 | 35 |
6 | Everton | 20 | 6 | 1 | 3 | 22 | 11 | 4 | 2 | 4 | 13 | 11 | 13 | 33 |
7 | Aston Villa | 20 | 5 | 1 | 4 | 14 | 13 | 4 | 5 | 1 | 21 | 13 | 9 | 33 |
8 | Portsmouth | 20 | 2 | 6 | 2 | 11 | 8 | 6 | 1 | 3 | 18 | 12 | 9 | 31 |
9 | West Ham | 19 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 12 | 11 | 5 | 1 | 3 | 13 | 6 | 8 | 29 |
10 | Blackburn | 19 | 4 | 2 | 4 | 11 | 12 | 3 | 4 | 2 | 14 | 15 | -2 | 27 |
11 | Newcastle | 20 | 5 | 3 | 2 | 16 | 15 | 2 | 2 | 6 | 11 | 16 | -4 | 26 |
12 | Tottenham | 20 | 5 | 1 | 4 | 30 | 21 | 1 | 5 | 4 | 11 | 15 | 5 | 24 |
13 | Reading | 20 | 6 | 1 | 3 | 14 | 13 | 0 | 3 | 7 | 15 | 29 | -13 | 22 |
14 | Middlesbrough | 20 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 11 | 15 | 3 | 2 | 6 | 7 | 18 | -15 | 20 |
15 | Birmingham | 20 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 12 | 12 | 2 | 1 | 7 | 10 | 19 | -9 | 19 |
16 | Bolton | 20 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 15 | 9 | 0 | 2 | 8 | 7 | 23 | -10 | 17 |
17 | Sunderland | 20 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 11 | 13 | 0 | 2 | 8 | 9 | 26 | -19 | 17 |
18 | Wigan | 20 | 4 | 2 | 4 | 13 | 12 | 0 | 2 | 8 | 7 | 24 | -16 | 16 |
19 | Fulham | 20 | 2 | 5 | 3 | 15 | 16 | 0 | 4 | 6 | 6 | 19 | -14 | 15 |
20 | Derby | 19 | 1 | 2 | 6 | 6 | 17 | 0 | 2 | 8 | 3 | 26 | -34 | 7 |
Members of rival Christian orders have traded blows at the Church of the Nativity in Bethlehem, with four people reported wounded in the fray.
Greek Orthodox and Armenian Apostolic priests were sweeping up at the church following the Christmas rites of the Western churches earlier in the week. Reports say some Orthodox faithful encroached on the Armenian section, prompting pitched battles with brooms. Intense rivalries at the jointly-run church can set off vicious feuds.
Apparently, the New England Patriots are no longer just an NFL team. They constitute a national emergency:
In an unprecedented decision, the league announced Wednesday that CBS and NBC -- and not just NFL Network -- will air Saturday night's finale between the Patriots and New York Giants in a three-way simulcast...
On Christmas Eve, Sen. John F. Kerry (D-Mass.) delivered a letter to Goodell suggesting the NFL consider using the "flex schedule" -- a progamming device that allows the league to change kickoff times to give NBC the best matchups for its Sunday night broadcasts.
"Electing to air the game on NBC would ensure that every television in America has access to such a historic game," Kerry wrote.
A musical spectrum of my moods this past week.
I was planning to do a year-end review like I did last year. Sorry, but I'm feeling too lazy, disillusioned and misanthropic at the moment.
So here are the links I was amassing.
Enjoy.
Maybe not. I just like moving my head side to side.
See also: Happy Solstice, you bastards!
The Reg's definition of local celebrities includes the owner of the Anaheim Los Angeles Angels, a reality television housewife and the Bishop of the Diocese of Orange.
And we have the best tuba blowers in all the fucking land...
The drafts are up to 51 now. Ya think I can clean them out by December 31? The CG has been doing a great job cleaning out the files. Perhaps I can make a dent into the pile, if I don't completely incinerate it. See, when it comes to cleaning, I prefer a blowtorch and a bulldozer to a mop and broom.
Read more...Admitting that her own mistakes may have fed unfavorable impressions of her is still not the style of Mrs. Clinton. On Monday night, when asked by someone at the rally why there were people who did not like her, she did not criticize herself or delve into introspection.
“There are people who will never vote for me,” she said. “It breaks my heart, but it’s true.”
The Greeks may have won that match, but Crispin alerts us to a new battle between zee Germans.
That's Italian actress Monica Bellucci from a new shoot in Paris Match (thanks, Dr. Monkey). You may recognize her from The Matrix Reloaded (a disappointing sequel) or from Passion of the Christ (didn't see and won't see) as Mary Magdalene. She also has a mad crush on Italy captain and World Cup winner Fabio Cannavaro.
After a shitty week I needed something to lift my mood.
Heh, reminds me of my introduction to the world of mortgage brokering right out of college. We funded thousands of loans to consumers who have now foreclosed on their homes. That sure was a soul-sucking occupation, not to say Acme Industries is any better.
So, what code do you live by?
You read that correctly. The World Wide Leader hates the baby Jesus.
PITTSBURGH -- Richard Desrosiers never made it to Heinz Field to watch his beloved Steelers play football, but his widow helped him fulfill his dream in death. Thanks to some help from sympathetic donors, Kathleen Desrosiers attended Sunday's game, bringing an urn with some of her late husband's ashes, as well as his ring and two pictures of him. He had died in March of a brain tumor.The moral of the story is: don't put off doing something you love or else you might never get to chance to do it. Or, rather, football games don't matter when you're dead. Read more...
The dreaded annual Christmas letter! Luckily, I haven't had the pleasure of being the recipient of this fine holiday tradition. My parents receive a few of them every year from various family members and friends. It must be a Boomer phenomenon. The Gen X'ers aren't much into letter writing - I sure am not.
Check out last year's submissions for worst all-time Christmas letter. The following selection contains the perfect blend of gloating, callousness and denial...
"We have put on a 1,000 square foot addition on the back of the house this past summer. (See enclosed digital photos.) This was Doug's dream. He and the boys love playing on the $5,000 pool table. Personally, I think it was just a little too expensive for a pool table, but if my boys are happy, I'm even happier! Yes, I am. This addition, along with the new kitchen last year, has definitely made this a home for the ages!"
Somehow this dude has managed to place himself in every goddamn commercial that airs during Sunday NFL games. He sells televisions, electronic gadgets, credit cards, cell phones, satellite service...you name it and he will sell it.
I've been occasionally checking the teevee for the score of the Patriots-Jets game, but every time I glance at the idiot box there's good old boy Peyton telling me to buy something. His on-field antics - pacing back and forth while yelling at his offense line - are annoying enough. Now I have to watch him run through the hallway of the hotel from the Shining...
According to Stereogum, Radiohead frontman Thom Yorke is the #6 "Indie Rock Hottie of 2007". The ludicrous nature of such list notwithstanding, how does one encapsulate Radiohead into one style, let alone peg them as "indie"?
Their first two albums were solidly Britpop. Ok Computer was just fucking amazing. Then they went into interstellar overdrive and charted their own path through the modern-electro-ambient-lofi-revolutionary musical landscape.
But I'll give the Gummies this - their list of female "Indie Rock Hotties" is on the mark. Numero uno es Leslie Feist. This is well deserved.
For a more substantial list check out their Best Albums of 2007.
Some interesting tidbits on newly hired England national team manager Fabio Capello:
Nine league titles in 16 seasons with four clubs – an even better pedigree than Steve McClaren. But only once, in 1994, has Capello won the Champions League.
Capello could find employment as the Government’s obesity tsar if results go badly. “Aren’t you ashamed of being so fat?” Capello asked Ronaldo while in charge of Real in January. The Brazil striker waddled off to AC Milan.
Capello fought with Paolo Di Canio during AC Milan’s tour to China in 1996 after the former West Ham United forward told him not to take the games so seriously. “Your face looks like a penis,” Capello said.
My troops are ready. They have doubled in number since last year.
They are well armed and ready to fight two wars: the war on war and the war on conspicuous consumption. Stay tuned for a report from the battlefield next week.
above: a screenshot from ABC/Disney Corp. news
MSNBC: Clemens turns out to be just another cheat
...and it couldn't have happened to a better team. Actually, I could give a shit, 'cos stickball bores me. I prefer sports with bigger balls.
In the interests of full disclosure, I cannot completely denounce Rupert Murdoch without first acknowledging that I enjoy one small outpost in his media empire. On Saturday morning Rupie delivers the English Premiership to my home via Fox Soccer Channel.
That said, I can now criticize the remainder of his imperial holdings.
His newly inaugurated Fox Business Channel has sought financial analysis from an astrologer. Umm, ok. I guess Saturn and Uranus have some impact on Ben Bernanke's decision to lower interest rates. And labiaplasty is akin to picking the right stocks.
My late grandmother (one of the single most important persons in my life) was heavily into astrology and numerology. These are two big no-no's according to her Catholic church. She also claimed to have seen Jesus and numerous spirits (but those stories, if I ever get to them, are for another day). Too bad she's not here 'cos I could ask her what the planets had to say about the impending recession...
Following up on yesterday's report of Holy Spirit-guided bullets, the AP offers this stunning development:
DENVER - Matthew Murray’s world was haunted by demons. Somehow, a child of a prominent doctor, someone who was homeschooled in a comfortable Denver suburb, evolved from would-be Christian missionary to a killer trying to rain Columbine down on the Christian world.
A family spokesman said Murray grew up in a loving home. But other interviews and what appear to be Murray’s own online ramblings portray a disturbed individual who resented his sheltered upbringing, had problems with his mother, heard voices in his head, felt rejected and abused — and yet appeared to be searching for a place to belong.
"I just prayed to the Holy Spirit to guide me," Assam said at a packed news conference Monday. "I give the credit to God. This has got to be God, because of the firepower he had versus what I have."
I will not leave you alone. I will keep rubbing it in.
The best part is...most of the people feigning outrage over the Congressional enabling of torture will vote for a Democrat next year. Suckas.
If you have an extra $200 lying around I'm sure you'll want this.
Read more...In July 1970, he married Susan Mooney; they divorced in October 1982. Afterwards, he dated at different times Bianca Jagger, Erin Carter, and Carrie Fisher.[5] In 1999, he married his second wife, Jackie Marie Clegg, who is a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The couple have two daughters, Grace (born September 2001) and Christina Dodd (born May 2005).
Do you dream of spending eternity staring at the Virgin Mary? Well, now you can... order while supplies last. But take heed of their shipping policy..."Acts of God, weather-related conditions, and states of emergencies can delay delivery beyond the stated delivery parameters".
And their bonus disclaimer: THERE IS NO SCIENTIFIC OR OTHER EVIDENCE THAT ANY CASKET WITH A SEALING DEVICE WILL PRESERVE HUMAN REMAINS.
Don't say they didn't warn you.
Me? I want to be cremated. It's cheaper.
Del Taco's 99 cent bean and cheese burrito notwithstanding, I'm quite averse all brands of fast food. I used to think McDonalds' food emitted the worst odor - a bizarre mixture of sugary syrup and rancid frying oil. However, I've discovered a cuisine whose atrocious smell matches its equally disturbing appearance.
Who enjoys eating a penis-shaped hunk of processed nitrate-infused mystery meat covered with faux yellow fromage and diarrhea chili?
Wienerschnitzel pushes the boundaries of my gag reflex. Sorry if I've spoiled your appetite - I'm just doing my part to encourage healthy eating. You know, someone has got to think of the children...
Click on the pics to enlarge and leave your captions in the comments. I know you can do better than my half-assed attempt at captions below.
(1) Aww man, captions again? Do I have to?
(2) Cops come and try to snatch my crops.
(3) A sale at Ferragamo? Let's cancel lunch, I've got some shopping to do!
(4) South Korea joins Bill O'Reilly's Coalition of the Willing by sending young female cheerleaders to battle the dreaded anti-Christmas task force.
(5) [Practice photo!]
(6) Mmm, this polonium borscht is my favorite!
(7) The latest spokesmodel for the "Got Miso?" campaign struts her stuff.
*inspired by Norbizness' Captions a Plenty
Pavement, "Gold Soundz ", 1994.
I didn't start the war. Jim Yeager fired the first shot with ELO. Then the Culture Ghost retaliated with some Iggy Pop. I feel it is my duty to cleanse the collective palette with some beautiful Malkmus melodies.
The video for Gold Soundz was filmed in my hood of Irvine, CA. Around -2:03 the guys take over University Plaza (across the street from UC Irvine) - the home of Steelhead Brewery and the one movie theater that shows *good* films in this part of Orange County.
I may love gooooooold, but I still belong to Jesus.
The title of European Footballer of the Year has been awarded to Brazilian ace Kaká. If I were him I'd be quite disappointed - where was Monica Bellucci to present the trophy this year?
Did Kaká deserve the award? That's difficult to say when you look at the other names on the short list: Cristiano Ronaldo, Didier Drogba, Zlatan Ibrahimović, Cesc Fabregas, Robinho, Francesco Totti and Juan Román Riquelme.
Kaká primarily won the award because his team (AC Milan) won Europe's (and the world's) most prestigious club competition, the UEFA Champions League. He single-handedly destroyed Manchester United in the Champions League semi-final.
Last year the Golden Ball award went to Italian defender Fabio Cannavaro who had just captained his national side to victory in the 2006 World Cup. Had France won the World Cup final, Zinedine Zidane would have probably received the award.
I don't know much about college football, but I get the feeling that the Heisman trophy is typically awarded to the quarterback, running back or wide-receiver of a national championship side, or at least a team ranked in the top five. In other words, it pays to be on a winning team.
This post is about blogging about blogging, or meta-blogging.
In my Blogger dashboard there are 46 drafts. These are 46 potential posts that never saw - and may never see - the light of day. They consist of YouTube videos, half-written essays, ideas that I could not properly formulate to my liking, etc.
A few days ago I decided to unearth some of these drafts but then grew lazy, saved this here post, and retired it to the dashboard. Now I'm meta-blogging about meta-laziness which has confined 46 (and counting) posts to the dustbin of Blogger. Maybe some day I'll publish these drafts instead of meta-blogging them. Maybe.
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